Jet Lag & Exhaustion

It’s been a week now since I’ve been back from the Philippines, and it took about that much time to get over the jet lag and exhaustion from the activities of my grandmother’s wake and funeral.

My last week in the Philippines was unlike any other experience I’ve ever had while in my cultural homeland. I have been to baptisms, fiestas, barrio dances, weddings, birthday parties, despedidas (farewell parties, usually given when someone leaves for a new job or emigrates abroad), picnics, and any occasion that gives cause for Filipinos to celebrate, but I never participated in a wake and funeral... until earlier this month.

For the typical Filipino wake, the deceased person is taken to a funeral home for preparation, and is returned to the home where it lies in state until the funeral. The wake can last-- at minimum-- a week, but I was told it can last for a month or longer. The amount of time depends on when family members can arrive at the earliest (with many Filipinos now working abroad, this could take weeks) or until that time that all the money is raised to pay for funeral and burial expenses.

Fortunately, my grandmother’s wake lasted a week. However, it was a LONG week.

For one week, there’s a constant flow of visitors around the house, especially at night to keep the grieving family company. Time is passed playing card games, mahjong, talking, and of course, eating.

There are many rules and protocols to follow, and I began to relate to the frustrations Princess Diana must have felt when she joined the British royal family. Family constantly keeps vigil by the coffin, which lies in the sala (living room), ready to receive visitors any time of the day. Certain foods are prohibited in the house, and the hardest one for me-- not taking a bath (difficult when in a tropical country, and that fact alone should have been enough to keep the visitors away).

However, in spite of all that, it was a great privilege and honor to be there for my grandmother’s farewell. I saw relatives I hadn’t seen in 20+ years, and many more I’d never met before.

It was exhausting, and I had a long flight home to deal with next. My grandmother was interred on a Sunday. The next morning, I was on a three-hour car ride to Iloilo, a nearly two hour flight to Manila, another two hour car ride from the airport in Manila to my cousin’s house in Bulacan, and another car ride to another cousin’s house in Valenzuela where I spent a few hours before leaving at 2:00 am Tuesday to ride to the Manila airport for my 6:30 am flight back to the U.S.

I finally made it back to Pensacola nearly 30 hours of travel (including stopovers).

Now you know why it took so long to recover!

(I have one more blog entry on my trip to the Philippines. Hope to have it up soon!)

Lola's Homegoing Celebration

A Tribute to a Great Matriarch

I just returned from a three week emergency trip to the Philippines, where I spent the first week there caring for my grandmother.  

When I finally had to leave my dad's home province to spend a few days with my mom's family in Mindanao, my aunt told me she had a feeling my grandmother didn't want me to be there when she died.  My grandmother finally passed on 06 August, while I was in President Roxas, Cotabato.

I flew back a few days later, to participate in the mourning rituals and activities-- my first ever such experience in the Philippines.  A week of mourning finally concluded on 14 August with a blessing at the church followed by interment.  

My cousin asked me to prepare a eulogy to honor our grandmother:

I stand today, a grandson stricken with grief, yet united in love with my family to celebrate the life of our great matriarch.

On behalf of my family, and especially by my father in America, who sent me to represent him before you today, we extend our warmest appreciation for the gift of your presence.

There is so much to say about 97 years in the life of this most remarkable woman, and I could hardly do justice in offering proper homage in this brief moment.

I want to offer you just a few of my thoughts as I reflected upon the life of my Lola, an extraordinary woman who endured so much yet gave so generously to many others, including all of us gathered here today.

My Lola’s life is a great lesson to never underestimate the power that one person has the ability to impact positive change in this world.

After all, it was one woman who helped sponsor countless many in the advancement of their education and are now career professionals.

It was one woman who enabled and supported countless many in their desire to go abroad and earn enough to sustain their families.

It was one woman who helped and healed so many during times of desperation, whether hunger, sickness, or tragedy.

From the power of one woman-- my Lola-- whom we honor today-- is a long lasting legacy that created a better life for her family than the pains of hardship she endured.

Sibalom Church, 14 August 2011

In 97 years, Lola witnessed so much history, celebrated many great birthdays, and other  important family events.  However, she also survived the perils of war, overcame the struggles of poverty, prevailed in supporting her family as a widow and the ultimate grief of any mother-- coping with the loss of children.

Lola, you will sacrifice no more.  

You will suffer no more. 

What you have endured is now the past.

You have earned your eternal reward with our God in heaven. May He welcome you and say, “Well done, faithful servant.”

Let us recall the greatest measure of one’s life is never the amount of gold or earthly treasures accumulated here on earth.  The greatest measure of one’s life is how you use those gifts entrusted from our Creator to effect goodness in the glory of God.

God blessed my Lola with many gifts... gifts of healing, perseverance, and love.  We, the beneficiaries of her gifts, will never forget.

My Tatay-- no doubt a lesson from his mother-- has always told me, “if you plant, you will harvest.”

Lola planted many seeds of healing, love, education, and opportunity within many of us here and beyond.

Lola, as you enter the gates of heaven, present before God, all of us here as your harvest... for the honor and glory to the King of Kings.

And now, as those who remain here, our responsibility is to continue the task and plant seeds of healing, love, education, and opportunity that not only honors the legacy of Elena Balitucha, but gives glory to God.

My family wishes to acknowledge and extend our appreciation to everyone who has supported us during this difficult time, most especially to Pelita Silva and her family.  Ate, you have remained our constant link of communication between here and America, and we truly appreciate you.

And to my family, especially Papang Benny and Auntie Beth, this occasion is bittersweet. We have lost someone we love so much, but heaven has joyously gained an angel who will continue to watch over us always.

Thank you all for your kindness and prayers.  May our Lord God Almighty bless you all.