It’s been a week now since I’ve been back from the Philippines, and it took about that much time to get over the jet lag and exhaustion from the activities of my grandmother’s wake and funeral.
My last week in the Philippines was unlike any other experience I’ve ever had while in my cultural homeland. I have been to baptisms, fiestas, barrio dances, weddings, birthday parties, despedidas (farewell parties, usually given when someone leaves for a new job or emigrates abroad), picnics, and any occasion that gives cause for Filipinos to celebrate, but I never participated in a wake and funeral... until earlier this month.
For the typical Filipino wake, the deceased person is taken to a funeral home for preparation, and is returned to the home where it lies in state until the funeral. The wake can last-- at minimum-- a week, but I was told it can last for a month or longer. The amount of time depends on when family members can arrive at the earliest (with many Filipinos now working abroad, this could take weeks) or until that time that all the money is raised to pay for funeral and burial expenses.
Fortunately, my grandmother’s wake lasted a week. However, it was a LONG week.
For one week, there’s a constant flow of visitors around the house, especially at night to keep the grieving family company. Time is passed playing card games, mahjong, talking, and of course, eating.
There are many rules and protocols to follow, and I began to relate to the frustrations Princess Diana must have felt when she joined the British royal family. Family constantly keeps vigil by the coffin, which lies in the sala (living room), ready to receive visitors any time of the day. Certain foods are prohibited in the house, and the hardest one for me-- not taking a bath (difficult when in a tropical country, and that fact alone should have been enough to keep the visitors away).
However, in spite of all that, it was a great privilege and honor to be there for my grandmother’s farewell. I saw relatives I hadn’t seen in 20+ years, and many more I’d never met before.
It was exhausting, and I had a long flight home to deal with next. My grandmother was interred on a Sunday. The next morning, I was on a three-hour car ride to Iloilo, a nearly two hour flight to Manila, another two hour car ride from the airport in Manila to my cousin’s house in Bulacan, and another car ride to another cousin’s house in Valenzuela where I spent a few hours before leaving at 2:00 am Tuesday to ride to the Manila airport for my 6:30 am flight back to the U.S.
I finally made it back to Pensacola nearly 30 hours of travel (including stopovers).
Now you know why it took so long to recover!
(I have one more blog entry on my trip to the Philippines. Hope to have it up soon!)
