My Annual CHRISTmas Message

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

What a year this 2005 has proven to be! This has been my year of self-discovery, a year that began with adventure and I continued finding myself down new paths. As I reflect upon this last year, I look back with a smile and call 2005 my annus poeticus. I think it was my own Odyssey, or Aeneid, if you will, and in my mind I was a wandering seafarer trying to find myself in that long journey home.

And now, my 2005 journey….

After 10 years, and by God’s grace (with funds from my excruciating overtime during the 2004 Hurricane Season) I returned to my cultural homeland, the Philippines. To describe my vacation, you can take these words: food, weather, women and add any of these adjectives: beautiful, hot, and good. Enough said.

That trip laid a great foundation for the year, and I learned so much more about my family, and this culture I’ve long honored, but gained even more respect about. I was witness to progress—a country emerging with modern technology, improved infrastructure, improved educational resources. But, unfortunately, I also witnessed firsthand the people that progress forgot—the hungry children, the disabled, and people who were even poorer than the “dirt poor,” for at least the “dirt poor” owned the little scrap of soil they lived on.

Even before I had gone on this trip, I knew what the Philippines was like… a nation of extreme opposites… the very wealthy and the very poor… the well-fed and the extremely malnourished…. the very healthy and the chronically ill. What’s even harder to comprehend is that sometimes these extremes are within the same family.

I might not have a lot of money, and I may not have a lot of power to drive institutional change, but after my trip there, I recommitted myself to being the change that I want to see in this world. That change may not be in my lifetime, but perhaps in some way, I’ll do my part to facilitate it!

I came back to the States well-rested, but still I felt myself very inefficient at work. With the hurricane season starting that June, I was also dreading another possible year of hell. I just couldn’t pinpoint this funk I was in… I thought a number of good excuses, but the true reason was in myself. So, I began a career move.

In June, (right at the start of hurricane season), I started a new job as Volunteer Services Manager for a local hospice. It’s been an adjustment…. I’m confident about how I manage volunteers—the greatest challenge has been navigating all the paperwork, especially in a healthcare setting.

Serving in a hospice setting has quickly opened my understanding of both dying and living. Of course, we serve patients with life limiting illnesses, but I’ve learned how hospice enhances the quality of that limited life. I’ve had opportunities to sit at patients’ bedsides and have wonderful conversations. I’ve met family members who’ve cared for their loved ones with great honor and respect (and yes, unfortunately, I’ve seen family members who could care less). I even had to go into a patient’s home and search for a gun, which I found—fully loaded— stashed under the sofa in the living room.

It’s a great job, but I don’t think it’s something I’m going to do for a long time. I even surprised myself a few weeks ago when I had lunch with friends from my last job. They’d joked with me about missing the action during the hurricane season and commented how I’m probably glad I’m through with it for the rest of my life. “Last year was tough, but I might do it again in the future.”

Everyone was surprised… and I caught myself. They pointed out that was a big change… when I left, I was adamant about not going back into the emergency management field, but now, I think I’ve worked through my own personal feelings that I’d be comfortable working in it again.

In the meantime, I’m staying close to home and not traveling as much.. and that’s good. Since I’m home more, I’ve adopted a dog, or rather she’s adopted me. Molly was Jeremy’s dog, and for one reason or another, she landed on my doorstep, and she ain’t leaving me now! She’s a cutie, an English Springer Spaniel, with a lot of energy! Having her has very enlightening for me. It’s tough enough for me to be a dog-parent, and I even question my own thoughts of what kind of parent I’d be… I can’t even begin to think about all of you who have children and how you manage it.

And I draw enough young energy from the church youth group. It’s been over three years now that I’ve been on the Core Team at Good Shepherd, and it’s been a wild ride. The freshmen that came in the year I joined will be graduating this spring. From camping trips, to Steubenville conferences, to Night of Joy, and the National Catholic Youth Conference, I’ve seemed to have done it all, and I’ve enjoyed most (minus a few sleepless nights) of it.

It’s been great this past month to be working with our seniors, who’ve taken great responsibility organizing service projects for the homeless. There’s great leadership in this group, and you know what I mentioned earlier about changing the world…. maybe what I hope the world will be will happen because of them. And somehow, that wouldn’t surprise me… I know they can.

I’m feeling a lot more healthier now than in years past… Molly gives me the driving push to exercise more since she needs to burn all that energy, another benefit of having a dog. I’ve tried to eat better (you know how that goes) and the stress at my new job is sometimes better managed than my last. Though lately, this season has been stressful for me, and not even related to the holiday. It’s that damn paperwork.

So, that about sums up my life for my annus poeticus, 2005. Yes, it was a poetic year for me, learning more of who I am and my calling in life. And this life journey will continue, and I’m sure 2006 will hold many new opportunities for me!

Best wishes this CHRISTmas season and great health and prosperity in the New Year!

Peace & Love,
Alfred, AC, Alfred0, "that Hawaiian dude,"

Christmas Mathematics

I've developed a new mathematical formula this Christmas season:

Prayer x reflection + charitable giving + thought Christmas messages - stress - time in shopping mall - hosting Christmas parties = AC's ideal Christmas holiday!

Maybe I'm becoming more of a Scrooge in my old age, but I've decided to make it a low key holiday.

I'm not shunning the holiday at all; I'm still going to most of the parties I've been invited to and I'm soaking in the sight, smells, and a few of the sounds of the holiday. I just don't want to go overboard.

This past weekend was cool... I co-manned our booth at the Winter Festival and met up with some friends later to soak in the scenes around downtown and celebrated a great FSU game later. To me, that's what I want most about the holidays... to spend time with my friends and family.

Ok, so this was a resolution that didn't pass

I said to myself that I'd post at least 3x a week... what baloney that was!

We're now into the last day of November and I haven't posted a thing. Ah, better late than never...

My Thanksgiving holiday turned out to be really great:

Ten rounds of drinks,

Nine jukebox selections,

Eight pounds of turkey, ham, dressing, and the works,

Seven great friends I saw,

Six long driving hours,

Five Harry Potter fans!

Four venti lattes (skinny!) from Starbuck's

Three hours of Black Friday Shopping,

Two trips to Wal-Mart,

and an awesome wedding and reception to remember!



Finally, after a few months, I went back to P'cola for a visit, which is always like trying to schedule a state visit. Dinner with him, Lunch with her, the afternoon with them, and coffee with so-and-so. On previous trips, it was overwhelming, but this time, it was really nice.

The highlight was Saturday night-- a wedding and the reception that started in the parish hall, moved to a bar and finally ended at an Irish pub. I was with some friends I really did miss-- the old Red Cross gang. I don't miss the work; just these people, or as we like to call our club: BEER (Bitter Ex-Employees of the Red cross). We didn't exactly leave the organization on great terms, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, it was great to catch up with them... to toast old times and drink to new. I was good... I toasted with Diet Coke.

Now, it's been hard getting back and focused on work. It's been a killer of a week with so many holiday events we're planning. Maybe if I keep eating all these Christmas sweets I induce myself into a sugar coma and wake up around Easter.

Aloha, babe...

So, if you know me, which is about anyone who's reading this, you know that everyone BUT me seems to have an identity crisis about me. Well, if you think this post is about another mistaken Hawaiian-identity stories... well, you are sadly correct.

I love old people... seniors are a hoot, which of course, naturally helps when you work in the hospice field. I was asked to attend a ceremony the other day that recognized veterans at one of our partner assisted living facilities. I arrived and was talking with one of our nurses who came and were laughing and joking. I really don't remember what I said, but by the time I finished cracking a line in the best sarcastic way I know how, one of the residents comes by and starts laughing. Then she says something about me being naughty... the exact words escape me now, but I do remember what she said next... "you better behave 'cause you don't want Grandma to spank you right now," she said laughingly.

Well, the nurse and I just looked at each other as the lady walked away... "did she just threaten to spank me?" I inquired.

"Yeah," the nurse laughed back.

Gee, tough crowd, I thought. So, I just cowered off to the side until it was my turn to do an oration of a poem recognizing the heroes. After my presentation, the ceremony was over and I made my rounds talking to residents and mingling, when of course I ran into "Grandma" again. We started talking and she turned out to be a nice lady who just loved to flirt with young men. (Don't even think it!)

After she talked to me about her late husband, the topic (as it somehow always does when I meet new people) turned to the "islands."

"Oh, I just loved Hawaii!"

"You know what's best about Hawaii-- the people! So friendly, they'd give the clothes right off their back!"

As she went on and on about Hawaii, my insides were boiling with laughter that I could control no longer and finally smiled and said in my sweet, compassionate voice, "so I bet you saw a lot of people that look like me!"

Well, this woman just looked like she just won the daily bingo jackpot... "are you... are you Hawaiian?"

"Oh, no ma'am," I replied politely. "My background is Filipino. My parents are from the Philippines."

"Oh, I've been there too... beautiful country! And nice people!"

I finally "broke free" and was ABOUT out the door when I saw a woman sitting by herself. Something-- my guardian angel perhaps-- told me to talk to her, even though I needed to get back to the office. So, I introduced myself and during our conversation I found out she was displaced by Hurricane Katrina, moved to Tallahassee by her sons because the facility she lived in was destroyed in Biloxi. As we talked, I realized why I was drawn to talk to her... she's alone in town. This facility was the closest her sons could find for her to live while her place in Biloxi was being fixed, and she doesn't know anyone here. She hopes to be back home by the first of the year.

And again, while I was talking to her the question of my "cultural identity" was brought up, but this time I'd drawn a small crowd who came over to talk to me (these places love to see young people and just come up and start talking). They all just wanted to know... "WHAT are you?!?"

Then there was someone else I stopped to talk... but again, the whole story repeats itself.

I think I'm cursed for the rest of my life of people asking me... "WHAT are you?"