Sometimes, you just have to know your weaknesses and acknowledge it properly. I did that this week.
We've been getting a lot of phone calls lately at work, most needing assistance. I was given the lead in handling all of them coming in to our office. If you don't know, I work for a foundation that grants out to non-profits who provide direct assistance to individuals recovering from disasters. We don't give out funds directly to people.
Of course, most of the people who call don't realize that.
Emotionally, it's been hard to deal with them and I finally had my meltdown earlier in the week after talking to an senior who needed some repair done and shutters put up-- all of this before a major hurricane strikes again.
I couldn't deal with it. The raw emotion... how desperate the woman felt and my lack of empathy did nothing to help. It was too much to handle. I ran out of the office and walked around the block to blow some steam.
I would not be a good social worker... I get too emotionally involved and it drains me. I tried to let the people I work with understand this, but after my meltdown, my office mates learned that I could not handle them.
There's been talk of moving that responsibility away from me, though I doubt that'd happen. I'm struggling through bouts of anxiety everytime my phone rings as I answer and pray it's not another problem.
I'm feeling really underappreciated right now because many in my office don't realize the gripes and complaints I get, both on the phone and when I'm in the field.
I can only pray that every week get better than the last... yet, who knows?
