It always seems like I'm updating this blog at 2:00 in the morning. I always thought it was my prime thinking hour... I think I need to get a job with a graveyard shift.
I've been back in Pensacola a while now. I've re-connected with old friends, made some new ones, and trying to find a new career in between it all.
On one of my trips back to P'cola after I'd moved to Tallahassee, I remember seeing a high school classmate at a gas station. He'd been down on his luck and moved back home. I was trying to give him a little encouragement, and we laughed how this town is a black hole.
It is. A black hole that sucks you back in, no matter where in the world you may travel. Whether it's a good thing or not, I'll leave it to your judgment.
Ah, but I can't help but think how much this is home to me. When I'm hungry, I know what I want and know where to get it (especially if I'm looking for a fish sandwich or some gumbo). When there's car trouble, one of the "uncles" can do the Filipino fix on it. I have friends who can find something to do that's loads of fun and doesn't break the bank.... like Pelican baseball games or hanging out on the beach. When I need to talk to someone, there's always a lot of people I can turn to here.
I'd been telling some friends how I feel like I needed a passport to come back here. It's a whole other country here, at least for me. I lived the last few years in Tallahassee so much into the American lifestyle, that I come back here and... ahhhhh... to be Filipino again.
It's topsilog (that's bacon, garlic fried rice, and eggs) or daing (dried fish) for breakfast and nearly fish and rice for every other meal eaten at home. I pick eggplant, ampalaya (bitter melon) and limoncito (small limes) in the family garden. I shop at the Asian market and sort through weird looking vegetables and fruits and am unfazed by the butcher walking through the aisle with a dead pig carcass slung over his shoulders. I can sit back and enjoy karaoke while pinching at my fried pork pieces and meticulously twirling the contents of my halo-halo ("mix-mix" an iced milk shake) while an old Filipino woman belts out Patsy Cline's "Crazy" in her thick fresh-off-the-boat accent.
"CREEEEEZZZEEEE.... CREEZY POR PEELEENG SOOOO LONE-LY"
Molly is adjusting well too. A lot of my friends here have dogs and I've brought Molly along to play with them. She's gotten along well with kids too, and has open invitations to visit them all. We're also making great friends at the dog park too. There's an open camraderie among dog owners that I've felt here. The dog owners here are much more mature... and responsible than I've seen in Tally, but I guess that's because there aren't a lot of college students with puppy pit bulls around here. We go to the doggie beach or another park and I instantly strike up conversations with so many friendly people. Many have even extended invitations to visit their homes.
I hadn't felt that way in a long time about "feeling at home".... but I don't want to get too comfortable here. God, I think, has plans for me elsewhere.
